Understanding Trauma: What It Is, How It Shows Up, and What Healing Can Look Like
Understanding Trauma: What It Is, How It Shows Up, and What Healing Can Look Like
Written by Lily Thrope
The most simple way to understand trauma is to think of it as a reaction to a perceived distressing experience. Emphasis on “perceived.” Trauma can occur when a person perceives danger, or experiences danger, it is the response to the experience that is trauma. Trauma does not always present the same and is not usually what we see depicted in the movies. It doesn’t only come from extreme or life-threatening events, it can also come from chronic stress, medical experiences, relationship wounds, or times when you didn’t feel safe, seen, or supported. For many people, trauma isn’t about what happened, it’s about how your body and nervous system had to respond to survive.
If you’ve ever wondered why certain memories won’t leave you alone, why you feel on edge for no clear reason, or why it’s hard to trust or connect with others, trauma might be part of the picture. Trauma is one of the body/brain’s reactions to unsafe situations. In Internal Family Systems we might view the trauma as a part of you that was trying to keep you safe. Safety is a huge theme in trauma work.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is the emotional and physiological response to something that was overwhelming, frightening, or left you feeling helpless. It’s less about the event itself, and more about how your system experienced it. For one person, a difficult breakup might be traumatic; for another, it might be a serious car accident or years of being subtly criticized and controlled. Trauma can be a result of a perceived threat to your safety like almost getting in a car accident or worrying about emergencies occurring.
There’s no hierarchy of trauma. What matters is how it impacted you.
When we experience trauma, our nervous system can become stuck in a state of survival, like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. These are normal and protective responses, but when someone gets stuck in them it can be really distressing and disruptive.
Common Trauma Responses
Trauma responses can look different for everyone, and they often show up long after the original experience. You might find yourself feeling jumpy or hyperaware of your surroundings. Or you might feel emotionally numb, like you’re moving through life on autopilot. Some people avoid places, people, or situations that remind them of the trauma. Others feel overwhelmed by intense emotions that come out of nowhere.
These are all normal responses. They’re your nervous system’s way of trying to keep you safe, even if it doesn’t feel helpful now. These responses aren’t flaws or signs of weakness, they’re signs that your body is still carrying something it didn’t get to fully process. Sometimes being able to acknowledge this and understand the seeking of safety can be healing in itself.
The Impact of Trauma on Daily Life
Unprocessed trauma doesn’t stay in the past, it often weaves its way into daily life. It might show up as difficulty trusting others, feeling detached in relationships, or reacting strongly to small stressors. You may find it hard to feel joy, stay present, or believe that you’re safe, even when you logically know you are. Trauma is much more about how you feel then the actual danger you are in.
Trauma can also affect your relationship with your body, with food, with work, and with rest. It can make you feel like you’re constantly bracing for something bad to happen, or like you’re always “on” even when you want to relax. Trauma can be stored in the body and mind and have different impacts on each person.
What Healing from Trauma Can Look Like
Healing from trauma doesn’t mean forgetting what happened. It means finding new ways to relate to your experiences so they no longer run the show. It means learning to feel safe in your body again, to be present in your relationships, and to respond to stress with more ease.
Therapy can be a powerful support in that process. A trauma-informed therapist can help you:
Build a foundation of safety, emotionally, physically, and relationally
Understand how trauma has shaped your nervous system and responses
Learn practical tools to regulate overwhelming feelings
Gently process painful memories, when and if you’re ready
Healing isn’t linear, and there’s no timeline. Sometimes it starts with just noticing how you’re feeling and giving yourself permission to pause. That alone can be a radical act of self-care. Awareness is only the first step in healing from trauma. There are many different therapeutic approaches to trauma that are evidence based like CBT and EMDR. Taking the step to start healing can be incredibly scary and overwhelming. Finding a trauma therapist that you feel safe, seen and validated by is essential.
3 Gentle Tools to Support Trauma Recovery
Here are a few supportive practices you can begin exploring today:
1. Grounding through the senses
When you’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected, try bringing your awareness to what you can see, hear, touch, or smell. Look around the room and name five things you can see. Notice the texture of what’s beneath your feet. These small actions can help bring your body and mind into the present moment.
2. Naming what’s happening, without judgment
If you notice a trauma response (like shutting down or becoming hyper-alert), try saying to yourself: “I’m noticing I feel overwhelmed right now. My body is trying to protect me.” This helps create space between the reaction and your identity, and invites more compassion.
3. Creating a sense of safety
What makes you feel safe or soothed? This could be a soft blanket, a playlist, a trusted person, or even a comforting scent. Making a list of these things, and using them when needed, can help you build moments of regulation throughout your day.
If you’re navigating trauma, it’s okay to take it one step at a time. It’s okay to ask for help. And it’s okay if healing feels slow. Trauma may be part of your story, but it doesn’t have to define your future.
If you want to learn more about how to navigate and heal from trauma in New York, consider speaking to a professional. Feel free to reach out to us at Thrope Therapy and schedule your free 15 minute consultation with one of the trauma therapists on our team. You can email us with any questions or inquiries at hello@thropetherapy.com. We look forward to hearing from you!
