Coping with Transitions: How to Support Your Teenager Through Transitions
Coping with Transitions: How to Support Your Teenager Through Transitions
Written by Lily Thrope
In the age of adolescence, teenagers normally face impressionable and formidable life transitions. As a parent, you might be wondering how you can support your teenager in the face of these transitions. Whether it’s leaving for college or going to a new school, losing a friend or going through a breakup, change is an inevitable condition your teenager will face. Transitions are both predictable and unexpected, but one thing remains constant: the crucial role a parent plays in providing a solid support system. If you are wondering how you can help your teenager through big transitions, see below for a few suggestions:
Listening. The most important thing a parent can do is listen. Create a safe space where your teenager feels comfortable and open to discussing what’s going on. Open, non-judgmental communication is crucial to helping your teenager.
Validation. As well as listening, acknowledging and validating your teen’s feelings and concerns is immensely helpful. Validation means accepting your teenager’s feelings and experiences openly, and it is a key way of supporting someone. Here are a few ways of expressing validation:
“I understand why you feel that way.”
“It’s okay to be upset about this.”
“I hear you and I see you.”
“I am listening.”
Support. Offer practical support. For example, if your teenager is transitioning from high school to college, a parent can help him/her explore the new environment online or in-person together. It’s also beneficial to create a plan and break down these major shifts into manageable steps and to set realistic goals. Depending on the type of transition, being physically and emotionally present can relieve some of the stresses your teenager may be experiencing.
Encourage healthy coping strategies. Stress frequently accompanies major change for most of us and teens are especially vulnerable. They may turn to unhealthy coping strategies, such as drug/alcohol use, or engaging in other risky behavior. It’s important to try to encourage functional and healthy coping methods like physical activity, creative expression, mindfulness, and social connection.
An important one: separate your feelings from theirs. We all have our underlying issues, and as parents it is almost inevitable that we unconsciously or consciously project them onto our teenage children. However, it’s necessary to maintain neutrality and be mindful of not merging your journey with theirs. Instead of projecting your issues, try to demonstrate behaviors that illustrate resilience and strength. And, of course, maintain good boundaries, which is challenging, but truly essential in all areas of parenting.
Finally, seek professional help or a support group if needed. If you find that your teenager is having major difficulties coping with a transition, don’t hesitate to consult a therapist for yourself or your teen. If you are interested in making an appointment to speak to a mental health professional, feel free to schedule your free 15 minute consultation. Thrope Therapy is offering in-person and virtual sessions today.
