Featured In: The “Let Them Theory: Genius or Toxic?
Lily was featured in an Instagram post by Zencare:
“This viral mindset shift is taking over social media, but is it really good for your mental health? Let’s talk.
What is the “let them” theory?
Mel Robbins’ viral concept says:
If someone leaves? Let them.
If they judge you? Let them.
If they don’t support you? Let them.
It’s about letting go and focusing on yourself—but therapists have mixed opinions.
Therapists agree: this theory can be life-changing:
Reduces anxiety—Stop overanalyzing what others think.
Encourages boundaries—No more chasing people who don’t respect you.
Fosters self-acceptance—Focus on your happiness, not external validation.
But beware…it’s not always that simple.
When “let them” doesn’t work:
In toxic or abusive relationships (you need boundaries, not just detachment).
When you’re avoiding difficult but necessary conversations.
When you need to advocate for yourself (ex: at work, in healthcare).
Not everything should be left alone!
Many people use “let them” as an excuse to disconnect emotionally:
“If I don’t care, I can’t get hurt.”
“I won’t let people in, so they can’t disappoint me.”
But true peace comes from emotional resilience, not shutting down. There’s a difference between:
Healthy Detachment—Releasing control over others while staying open to connection.
Indifference—Emotionally shutting down to avoid getting hurt.
How to use “let them” the right way:
Let go of people who don’t respect you. You don’t have to fix them.
Accept what’s out of your control. Stop wasting energy trying to change others.
Refocus on your own growth. Spend time building your happiness, not controlling theirs.
But don’t use it to avoid necessary conversations or as an excuse to ignore your emotions.
So, is “let them” empowering or problematic? A therapists take:
Great for boundary-setting.
Helpful for reducing anxiety & overthinking.
A mindset shift that prioritizes peace.
BUT: Not an excuse for avoidance or neglecting real emotional work.
Emotional growth isn’t about control OR detachment—it’s about knowing when to let go and when to lean in.”
